I Don't Poop Where I Eat

by Amber Rogers

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GUEST COMMENTATOR

Oxymoronic Worship

“Give Him a bipolar praise”

by Sir Walter Jones

Have you ever taken your sandwich into the restroom with you... sat it on the floor next to the toilet, and took a pee, and then went back to eating the sandwich? No?

Have you ever told your waiter to bring you your juicy Porterhouse Steak to you on the top of a garbage can lid? No?

Have you ever attended your boss's daughter's wedding reception and decided to wear last year's Halloween costume? No?

Have you ever served on jury duty and decided to wear your workout clothes? No?

Question...Why do you INSIST on separating your peas from your potatoes on your dinner plate? Surely it's going down the same throat, right?

Why CAN'T I sit on your living room couch?... wasn't it made for sitting? And why CAN'T I use fish grease to make your fried chicken? Why won't you eat the food the chef just sneezed on? Why WON'T you drink wine for breakfast? Why WON'T you install a toilet on the front porch?... and why WON'T you read a bedtime story to your 5-year-old from the book "The Joy of Sex"?

Why, Why, Why?

I'll tell you WHY... because you understand ORDER and DECENCY... you have PREFERENCES in your life. God didn't build your million dollar Church on 5th and Main; your congregation did.

You chose to build it because you all needed a place to house your large Ekklesia! However, I have a slight issue with you though...

Ponder this: I don't want you sitting on my bed with your street clothes on...Because that's where I sleep! And I surely don't brush my teeth in the toilet... Why? Because that's where I Poop!

The reason why I don't wanna hear Frankie Beverly and Maze songs in the church building is because that's where I WORSHIP!! What man wants his woman screaming "OH DENZEL" while he's making love to her? Heck, you don't even wanna hear Mahalia Jackson or Marvin Winans' voice on the radio during lovemaking!

"Cross-contamination is a real thing. If the water is pure enough to drink, why would you have it poured into a piss pot before ingesting it?" Should not our designated worship places be a reflection of "pure" praise?

~ I'm asking for a friend.

 
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 As I perused the internet today there seemed to be a common theme that caught me off guard. I saw a prevalent attitude on display that many today carry- and that's the attitude of disrespect for our Christ-centered places of worship. A certain Millennial pastor found it in good taste this past holiday season, to plaster pictures of his congregants enjoying their Christmas party replete with a caption that they "turnt up" and got "lit" enjoying themselves at the party. Upon further review, it was easy to make out the three gambling and roulette tables that they all hovered over joyously. Again, the party or fellowship was a beautiful thing, however the vernacular used in describing it's location, references to getting "lit" (drunk and rowdy) along with the pastors disrespect hurled at those questioning it was what’s at issue. From the outside looking in we are not given information as to whether this party was in fact in the church, however on their website and Facebook wall it was stated they were in their Loft.

The misconception or the perception was that they were in their church's recreational area rather than a secular club. Again, this was left up to interpretation. Most onlookers were left speechless wondering "what was he thinking?" When questioned about his choices the pastor's very readied "clap-back" along with his members was that "we should all shut up and mind our business"... this leader went on to malign the character of anyone asking questions and again, we scratched our heads and wondered "what was he thinking?" According to 1st Corinthians 10:23, the Apostle Paul's words cover a multitude of our oversights and indiscretions when he wrote: "All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not." Paul is cautioning the Corinthians against abusing their liberty in lawful things. A Christian must not only consider what is lawful, but what is expedient, even in his private conduct. He must consider his weaker brother and his witness. He must not hinder others in their holiness, comfort, or salvation. Those who allow themselves to be caught up in seemingly worldly activities, not plainly sinful in itself, will often run into what is evil by accident. Circumstances may make that a sin which in itself is none. These actions must be counted up and weighed.

This new "church" lacks respect for anything resembling holiness. Long gone are the days of fleeing the very appearance of evil and living as epistles read of men, we now fly our flags high; promoting our freedom and liberty in Christ with no regard for our brothers, or our commission to win souls for the Kingdom. Today's millennials continue to try and dismantle the teaching of holiness at every step! Their laissez-faire attitudes, attire, and even in their worship- often proving to be no more than an exercise in self, taunting their so-called revelation of who we are in Christ. It seems as if the revelation of the word "ekklēsia" in association with who we really are- the called-out ones, has left some of us conducting ourselves as bastards!

Our Revelations and our push to come out from under heretical teachings should by no means leave us in the state of heathens. God has not changed. He is the same today, yesterday, and forevermore. When we are in his presence be it corporate, worship or private in-home supplication, we should want our vessels, (bodies, or buildings) to be clean and respectable for our communion with Him. Even the most sloven of housekeepers are embarrassed by the dirty dishes in the sink when an unannounced guest appears at the door because "the state of our house is showing, and it is a reflection of the state of our minds.”