"Why Your Marriage Sucks"
(part 1)

When a man asks a woman for her hand in marriage he is, in fact, extending to her his hand in leadership, and when and if she accepts his hand she is agreeing in submission to it. He is saying "I will lead and protect you, love, honor and respect you and her in submission to his lead is saying "I, in love honor and respect for you... submit." Very often Christian couples will get carried away by images of the secular world having the grandest time planning destination weddings, or visions of flying off to Las Vegas in a whirlwind to take part in what they perceive to be the perfect wedding. The flowers the bridesmaids, her gown, the cake- it's all-encompassing! However, a marriage is not about the wedding but it's about your life together and how the two of you are going to honor your vows and achieve a symbiotic life together loving and nurturing each other.
This rhythm of leading and submission will always be a factor in your life that will either make or break your marriage!

Scripture has given us a perfect diagram of how the relationship between God, husband, wife, and children is to be laid out. God is the head over the husband who is the head over the wife, who is over the children. This is the Divine order set in place for a Christian family and placed in Scripture for our submission to it.
When couples fall out of sync and they refuse the plan that God has placed in guidance of the marriage, due to whatever circumstances, there is a kink in their link. And it almost always goes back to the couple's having stopped they're delicate dance of submission and covering. Like any well-orchestrated dance, this flow of give-and-take should be fluid, well-paced, rhythmic, and with only one lead.

"Women, the spin around the dance floor of your lives should be lead by your husband with the constant, gentle weight of his hands around your waist guiding you. The two of you should be so in tune and relaxed with each other that his guide seems effortless as his arms move the two of you through life by the beat of the music." You trust him because he trusts God, and you should never worry about the bumps and bruises along the way because your protector is guiding you.

What many are experiencing throughout their marriages in this day and time is the undoing of ordinances already in place. The repercussions for these infractions are now reverberating throughout the family structure and the body of Christ has been affected. Learned, Christian, women today are looking for men to act in the role of husband who will lead his family well. That wife will submit to him and listen to biblical instruction from him because, after all, she chose him in reciprocity just for that purpose. She saw that she could submit to him because he was submitting to God.

However, after years of the push and pull someone got out of divine order and formation! For a while (women) you did your part, you played your role and submission was not a problem. But the same man who you chose to submit to has wounded you and clipped your wings and you now feel unappreciated and unimportant. His words which you once found to be uplifting and soothing have been replaced by criticism and demands. And this has caused you to recoil. The person that you once looked up to in admiration you now have secretly begun to resent. Add to that scenario a few sleepless nights full of disagreements, a few badly placed words, a little character assassination, and out-and-out fights. With that, the Perfect Storm has been invoked and has caused an uncomfortable distance within your relationship. Now, the thought of submission is the furthest thing from your mind. Your home is a battlefield, you're sexually repressed, and he has begun to work overtime just to keep the peace..."yeah, your marriage sucks."